My Saving Grace
(reposted from my previous blog) Yoga, Yoga is my saving grace, my lifesaver, my anxiety reducer, my sanity keeper and my safe space. When I first started practicing yoga (semi) consistently after my junior year of college I had a brief glimpse of what yoga could do for me. Yoga helped me recover from a four month long illness and helped me regain some strength I had lost over those four months. I remember walking out of class feeling rejuvenated and refreshed. All of this was just the start of my yoga journey.
I can honestly say I do not think I would have made it through these past 3 and a half months with (some) of my sanity if it weren't for yoga. Back in July, I decided that I wanted to become certified as a yoga teacher. I knew it would be time consuming and exhausting but I knew it was something I wanted to do. I had spent so much time doing things to further my career and get into graduate school that were draining my energy. I knew that yoga would be something that would not only further my career but would help me become a better person. I am so beyond grateful that I made this choice and that I stuck with it.
My first two weekends of my yoga teacher training were quite the whirlwind. I had to miss part of one for a family wedding and had my university's homecoming for the second and found out I had to write a ten page paper in time for my second one. All while working 45 hours, having my first test in my pre-requisite class and studying for the GREs. I almost quit! Thankfully, someone close to me at the time convinced me I was strong enough to get through the week and that I should stick with it. I am grateful that they believed in me and supported me enough to get me back that next weekend. From there on out I was hooked.
If it had not been for my yoga teacher training this year, I would not have had a safe place. While the training has been time consuming, overwhelming and exhausting, I started looked forward to the weekends because I could spend time on myself. It was a weekend dedicated completely to me and my yoga practice. It was a way for me to learn how to help others by helping myself first. I thoroughly enjoyed learning about yoga and practicing-- even on the 10 hour days. No matter what else was going on in my life I could enter that room and let go of the outside world and it's stressed. I could focus on myself and my fellow trainees.
On top of all that, I met a great group of people through Prana Power Yoga teacher training. They have bee the most supportive and understanding group. I connect with them on a different level then others. We all have common interests in yoga and are there to not only help others, but help ourselves. Every single person has a different story that brought them to this training and each story is amazing. Each story contains struggles and happiness and peace found through yoga. Some of these people are truly amazing and I am so grateful to have met them.
Yoga, in general, is a happy place for me, a safe place and a place where I can let everything go. Yoga has gotten me through anxiety issues, a breakup, GREs, unhappiness and being overworked. This past Wednesday I realized just how much yoga meant to me and how it could change my whole day around. I had a shit day, got some bad news, the weather was crappy and I just wanted to cry. I decided I had to go to the yoga class I planned on attending at 4:30. It was a 75 minute class with one of my favorite instructors. As crappy as I felt, I knew I would feel better after the class. I went into the class miserable but open to whatever the class had to bring. I left with a huge smile on my face and a sense of calm. And this is why yoga is my saving grace.
Yes. I've become stronger, I've learned how to do a "perfect" chatturanga, I've learned Prana Power Yoga's vanilla flow but more importantly, I've learned to be present. I've learned I need to be happy with myself In order to be happy in my life and I'm still learning how to do that. I've learned what and who I need in my life. I've learned how meditation, yoga and self care can do wonders for anxiety or any emotional issues for that matter. And the best part is that I am still learning and I don't plan on stopping. I still have two and a half more weekends and I am excited but sad for this training to be over. But I know now that yoga will always be in my life. Through the good and bad times-- which is hard to say for a lot of things and people.