Tada Gan Iarracht
Tada Gan Iarracht= Nothing Without Effort
A while back I wrote a post about the meaning of Nothing Without Yoga and today I realized the downside of always putting in so much effort, so much love. I went back and read my post and I still stand by what I said 100%.I believe that you put effort into the things you love-- people, careers, hobbies, relationships. I have to believe that because it's how I'm wired. But I also believe that doing nothing without effort can suck.
I was playing dodgeball today at a charity tournament for graduate school and I realized I put effort into everything I do. Let me say, we were the worst team there (but the BEST dressed) and we only won 1 round but my ENTIRE team played their hearts out. I played so hard I ripped my leggings and have floor burn on my knee. Yeah we weren't good at dodgeball but we put in all the effort we had and were so into it. I was talking to my mom about the dodgeball tournament and I said:
"I guess that's my problem I put so much into everything I do and sometimes it sucks but I can't hate myself for that."
Groundbreaking, I know but it was a whole revelation for me.
I am 100% all in, all the time. Whether I want to be or not. I don't do anything halfway and I push myself as hard as I can. My biggest critique from my mom is I overbook myself and have a hard time saying no when people ask for help. I care too much and I care too easily.
And sometimes, it's exhausting. And sometimes, it sucks. But I wouldn't change at all.
If you're important to me, you will know it. I will do anything and everything for the people I love and care about. I will go out of my way to help them, sacrificing myself. And thankfully, I can say the same about a lot of the people I surround myself with. But there are a few people who I can't say that about. and that hurts and it's something you don't realize until after you've put yourself on the line for them. After you've given them all your effort. And it sucks and it hurts and then you get mad at yourself for caring so much but you can't. You shouldn't because if you didn't care that much, you wouldn't have all the wonderful people in your life that you do.
If I'm interested in something, I'm obsessed. Yoga, working out, essential oils, Whole30. I research, I read books, I make lists, I write. I inhale information like the book won't be there again tomorrow. and sometimes I feel silly for becoming so enraptured by random things but I love these silly things. I enjoy them and they bring me happiness so who cares if I'm a little obsessed with them.
If I want to pursue something, I do it. Becoming a yoga teacher, becoming a physical therapist, running a marathon. I commit to early AM classes, years of school, missed nights out with friends. I hate how much time I invest into that "something" because I miss out on things. But when it comes down to it, when I'm in that moment learning or teaching or doing I LOVE it. In the moment, I am truly happy to be exactly where I am. The process of getting there is what sucks sometimes. And sometimes it takes a LOT of hard work, more than you planned, more than it seems anyone else is putting in. But it is SO SO worth it.
When you finally nail that pose: Worth it.
So sometimes you get hurt, you cry and you question why the hell you care so much. But you never stop caring. If you're anything like what I described above, you can't stop caring even if you tried. And I'm okay with that.
Like I said in my previous post, I want to live a life full of passion and love. I want be passionate about everything I do. I want everyone to know that I care about them and never question that. I never want to be accused of not caring. I want to pursue everything in my life with nothing but effort. and I hope you do too.